Article below from The Hill, January 24, 2007
Back to Article Index

The new, tough business of
WEDDING PLANNING
Edith Gilbert

"All you need to be married are champagne, a box of cigars and a double bed!"

That's exactly what Winston Churchill told his future daughter-in-law, Pamela Harriman, when she tried to discuss her wedding plans with him.

Of course, it wasn't so then and isn't so now.

There's more for a groom to do in today's wedding world than "just show up" or for his parents to give him their blessings. A variety of new financial issues ought to be tackled in connection with the tough business of planning a wedding -- issues that go hand in hand with the usual niceties of hand-addressed invitations.

First, there's the matter of insurance. "Should we buy insurance for the diamond engagement ring?" You bet! What about wedding gift insurance? Ought to be considered, especially when there's a big wedding splash in the newspaper! A floating policy usually lasts three months and may also cover damage incurred when shipping gifts. For added peace of mind, wedding insurance policies underwritten by the Fireman's Fund or Wed-Safe are available, covering theft, accidents, storms and illness.

Whoops, my dears, there's even insurance available to recoup deposits in case a wedding is postponed or cancelled!

Unfortunately, other tough questions that may come up are, "Who keeps the ring when the engagement is broken?" The law here is tricky to decipher, but as a general rule we're told that the ring legally belongs to the woman, so after a change of heart, she has the option to return the engagement ring because she wouldn't want to keep it as a reminder of this unhappy episode, but when circumstances alter cases, there are times when diamonds are a girl's best friend! However, if he breaks the engagement, she may keep the ring -- if she so chooses. She may have it reset and wear it as a pendant, or sell it, depending on her heartfelt feelings.

Another delicate question people may ask is, "What is the going rate these days fo how much to pay the minister?" Since most members of the clergy don't have a set fee for performing a wedding ceremony, no wonder it's puzzling when trying to decide how much to offer.

Naturally, the amount will vary according to the number of guests and the wedding budget. There are times when weddings are performed for nothing, although the average low range may begin at a modest $150 and shoot up to $1,000. For starters, it depends on whether either the bride or groom is a member of the minister's congregation. Has the couple received pre-marriage counseling? How may sessions? Will the reception following the ceremony be held in church? In this case the clergyman or clergywoman has more responsibility to make sure that the custodian has the place clean, heated and aired out. Will church bells be rung? Sometimes for a low-budget wedding, an imaginative gift, such as a round of golf at the local Country Club, is welcome compensation instead of a fee.

Wedding consultants are sometimes asked, "Who pays the travel expenses for the minister when he comes from out of town?" Since it's the groom's responsibiliy to pay the minister's fee, the groom is also expected to pay for his travel expenses.

Occasionally people wonder if it's possible to be married by proxy. That means someone else standing in and saying, "I do," for either the bride or groom. Proxy laws vary from state to state. Montana is believed to be the only state that allows marriages by proxy without the missing partner being connected by telephone to the ceremony.

There may be various legal reasons why a couple may want to be married by proxy. For example, when both persons are not able to be present for the ceremony -- one could be in a branch of military service and stationed overseas.

For further information, one may check the Internet by state under UW marriage License Laws. www.weddinglicenses.com and www.usmarriagelaws.com.

How about pre-nuptial agreements? With two-income families this subject definitely begs for serious discussion in order to cover a young bride's and groom's retirement benefits, IRAs, mutual funds and property. In the past, pre-nuptial agreements were recommended only for wealthy individuals, but today more and more couples are contemplating pre-nuptial agreements, especially when there are second marriages involved, and, of course to protect children's inheritances.

To be sure, weddings today take more than just champagne, cigars and a double bed -- you also need a solid dash of business savy.

Back to Top
Back to Article Index