Have Your Cake and Edith, Too

Edith Gilbert has been writing about weddings for more than a quarter of a century. Now an energetic 80-something, she's just completed an updated fourth edition of her The Complete Wedding Planner (Frederick Fell, Apr.). "Edith is tangy," says publisher Don Lessne with a laugh. "If somthing isn't right, she really gets on me. But she's also an incredibly hard worker - she's every publisher's dream."

In 1982, when Gilbert began the first edition of her planner, there was almost nothing available to help brides in need. Even the venerable Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt offered little more than suggestions on the proper way to phrase an invitation. Gilbert dug in and created a groundbreaking how-to for brides that covered everything from engagement showers to receptions. She even included a chapter on wedding superstitions. "Do you know the reason bridesmaids all dress alike? It's to keep the evil spirits confused."

Over the years, Gilbert has not been content to simply revise the same conventional material. "I was the first to write a book for the bride and groom - not just fro the bride and her mother - and the first to include a chaper on pre-marriage counseling, alteration tips for pregnant brides and information on ecumenical services." This newest edition, reports Lessne, "adds breadth and depth to issues pertaining to the complexities of the current social scene."

And if undertaking a major revision of a wedding planner wasn't enough to occupy her time, Gilbert is also the wedding etiquette expert on www.weddingdetails.com and has personally answered more than 30,000 questions in the last 5 years. The most common queries: Who should walk me down the aisle, my father or stepfather? And what if guests want to bring children to an expensive 8:00 sit-down dinner? The strangest question: "My father has had a sex change, can he still walk me down the aisle?"

As a long-time observer of nuptials, Gilbert has seen major changes in how Americans are pledging their troth. "Weddings have gotten so expensive. They're more of a production now and I'm not happy about that. People think they can't get married if they don't have three showers. It's a lot of 'gimme.'" As for what accounts for The Complete Wedding Planner's enduring success, "I write from experience rather than simply interviewing experts," says Gilbert "and that makes a big difference."
--L.D

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